If you love someone, then let them go, right? But why would they want to leave if it’s true love? I start questioning myself: What did I do wrong? Did I not cherish him? Did I smother him? Why am I so easy to cast aside? I suppose, it was inevitable with the distance, his interest in seriously dating other women, the unknown time apart. I gave him the freedom to leave, so why not take advantage of it to be with a woman who wouldn’t allow him that same freedom?
I feel like we’ve been out of touch with only the occasional Skype calls and Facebook chats. How can that limited time cover everything that we’ve been going through and allow us to develop deeper discussions? I feel resentful, but I don’t want to be. It’s what I wanted him to do; live without regrets. I should be supportive. But it still hurts; it’s still going to be painful, as it is still a break-up.
This was OUR worst fear, that we would fall in love with other people, that we would lose what we had. We had so much! We had something solid, founded in love, understanding, support, challenge. Why wasn’t it worth the wait this time? I’ve been missing him so much, and now he’s not even there. I can’t go back. He can only be a figment of my dreams. This all seems so surreal. It was unexpected, at least in the moment. I was hoping it would never be true, that he would never leave, and I think that I actually believed that for a time because I knew how he felt. Or so I thought. I can’t really know what he's thinking, what he's feeling. What DO I know?
Perhaps, I needed to lose that light in my life, so that I can make my own. Everything happens for a reason, right? I do still need to work on myself and my goals. And I couldn’t have done much else in the relationship; it’s a two way street. I have no idea what’s going through his mind and I don't feel like I can trust his words, which are merely used to attempt to cushion the pain and make it easier for him to leave. I don’t feel terribly special or important, even though he says he still cares. I feel second rate, like an old rag doll (Raggedy Ann) cast aside, as her newness and charm has faded. What use is she anymore, especially in a society of upgrades and commercialism?
It is what it is. Just let it be. If I push and harass, it will only drive him farther away and I will be contradicting myself and my principles in love. Let him be for awhile.
I feel like we’ve been out of touch with only the occasional Skype calls and Facebook chats. How can that limited time cover everything that we’ve been going through and allow us to develop deeper discussions? I feel resentful, but I don’t want to be. It’s what I wanted him to do; live without regrets. I should be supportive. But it still hurts; it’s still going to be painful, as it is still a break-up.
This was OUR worst fear, that we would fall in love with other people, that we would lose what we had. We had so much! We had something solid, founded in love, understanding, support, challenge. Why wasn’t it worth the wait this time? I’ve been missing him so much, and now he’s not even there. I can’t go back. He can only be a figment of my dreams. This all seems so surreal. It was unexpected, at least in the moment. I was hoping it would never be true, that he would never leave, and I think that I actually believed that for a time because I knew how he felt. Or so I thought. I can’t really know what he's thinking, what he's feeling. What DO I know?
Perhaps, I needed to lose that light in my life, so that I can make my own. Everything happens for a reason, right? I do still need to work on myself and my goals. And I couldn’t have done much else in the relationship; it’s a two way street. I have no idea what’s going through his mind and I don't feel like I can trust his words, which are merely used to attempt to cushion the pain and make it easier for him to leave. I don’t feel terribly special or important, even though he says he still cares. I feel second rate, like an old rag doll (Raggedy Ann) cast aside, as her newness and charm has faded. What use is she anymore, especially in a society of upgrades and commercialism?
It is what it is. Just let it be. If I push and harass, it will only drive him farther away and I will be contradicting myself and my principles in love. Let him be for awhile.
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