Acceptance and Appreciation

I think that I’m beginning to accept the break-up and appreciate it for what it is and what we had.  Not everything works out in life the way that we want it to, so that, oftentimes, we find ourselves forced to seek alternative routes in learning life's lessons.  However, this is difficult to accept and plan for, since we lack such foresight and are typically resistant to change. Perhaps, he and I had learned all of the lessons that we possibly could from each other and our relationship at this point in our lives; however, this exchange may have also simply become much more challenging with the miles between us.

Yet, during our time together, I did learn that it is possible to love and maintain a strong connection at a distance, and that though love may falter, it doesn’t fade, as long as the desire and effort to rekindle it is still there.  I learned that I can truly be an individual and live my life rather separately from a significant other, and that I can pursue my dreams in this way without guilt and regret.  And the break-up itself is yet another lesson in letting go and not hanging onto and fixating on someone who is not there or something that cannot be changed. 

For now, the distance certainly helps to cushion this moving on process, since British Columbia lacks the reminders of home.  Yet, the reminders that I do experience have triggered the happy memories, instead of anxiety over the errors and disagreements that occurred during the relationship, which is a shift in my usual post-relationship focus.  In the past, there have usually been things that I could have done differently to make circumstances better, easier, or to make my relationships persist instead of fail.  Initially, I did resort to this mode of thinking, wondering what I did wrong this time.  Granted, there are always improvements to be made and this relationship was far from perfect, as we are both imperfect humans.  Yet, we simply grew apart, or he grew apart, as the case may be, and there is nothing that either of us could have done differently without making unnecessary self-sacrifices, which was never an option.  There is a reason for all of this, but it has yet to be revealed; only in time.