The purpose of my blog is to share my life lessons and travel experiences that may encourage others to follow their dreams, relate to those who have encountered similar situations, and provide a means for individuals to live vicariously through my adventures!

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Switching Gears

After having slept for two hours prior to a full day of traveling home from Puerto Rico, I'm not yet feeling up to the task of composing a new post. So I will switch gears and provide you with a flashback of a different sort.

December 2011
Together, we walked along these roads
In the damp and the snow
With your arm across my shoulders,
My arm around your waist,
And our love burning fiercely;
We kept the cold at bay.

Alone, I walked along these roads,
As you embarked upon a new adventure
And I was left here;
Caught between the misery of being separated from you
And the joy of your fresh start and new life;
I earnestly await our next reunion.

Alone, again, I walk along these roads,
Along these roads, where we laughed and played;
In these fields, where we shared secrets and goals;
On these paths, where we hiked for hours;
In these woods, where we passionately embraced.

Your memory is everywhere.
I feel your lingering presence,
Which is swept away upon the wind,
So that I am left with only your ominous absence
And the frigidness of our extinguished love.

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Ones We Love, We Hurt the Most


“The ones we love, we hurt the most.”
-Anonymous?? (Please tell me if you know who coined it!)

This is a thought-provoking quote.  Although the explosive verbal abuse of my boss can be hurtful, insulting, and downright mean in the moment, in the grand scheme of things, she has little effect on me, and her opinions and actions matter little, since I have zero emotional (or any other kind of) attachment to her.  On the other hand, if my mother berated me so, I would not even be at this internship because I would either lack the self-confidence to even set foot outside my front door with my head held high or be locked away in a psychiatric institution.  Words and actions can certainly sting, but the one who says or does these things determines the degree of impact.

This train of thought, of course, brought me back to my ex and my knee jerk reaction to the circumstances post-break-up.  In the moment, I felt that my words and actions were justified, that I had sufficient time to consider my course of action, after having been sitting idly by and contemplating this for months.  Yet, now, being far enough removed (I hope) from that time of my life, I believe that I was too harsh, too judgmental, too demanding.  I was seeking justice for myself and neglected to consider his side of things, his circumstances.  I find myself full of regret for treating him so, in spite of my mantra to live without.  I doubt that he could ever find it in his heart to forgive me, and I would not blame him.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

What I Will Miss About Puerto Rico

As the anger begins to resurface at the two-faced behaviors that I have experienced through my daily interactions with a particular individual, I feel that I must take time to refocus my thoughts on the positive aspects of my time in Puerto Rico, which are listed below, in no particular order.

·         A fresh produce section growing right in the back yard complete with mangos, papayas, bananas, pumpkins, cherry tomatoes, corazons (also known as custard apples), plantains, and pomegranates
·         The quick healing powers of the aloe vera plant
·         Friday night magic shows with tricks designed for a “four-year-old”
·         I can see the ocean from the patio
·         No one owns a dryer
·         Little lizards constantly scurrying about
·         Frequent visits from beautiful tropical song birds and magnificent raptors
·         The funny way that one barking dog causes the entire neighborhood to erupt in yelps
·         The absurdity of the idea that roosters only crow at dawn
·         Working outside on my laptop
·         Good people, who make up the vast majority of the team
·         Big group dinners with lots of food
·         Mastering the arts of grilling and baking desserts in a toaster oven

Saturday, April 14, 2012

The Color and the Shape

Just like home, I love eating breakfast at the kitchen table, while watching the birds flitting about in their morning routine.  At home, their primary focus is the bird feeder, which is fastened to the patio railing, directly in view through the French door.  The birds rummage through the tropical bushes and fruit trees, perhaps, seeking shelter, just as much as food.  The strange songs and striking color patterns often catch my attention and, one day, I finally grabbed the Puerto Rico bird identification field guide, so that I might put some names to these faces.

Some of the most frequent and abundant visitors are the Black-faced Grassquits, whose coloration is true to their name, with the exception of the females, which are strictly olive colored.  At times, the males’ buzzy trill can be nearly deafening, like a swarm of cicadas buzzing in the heavy summer heat.  Furthermore, these little birds, which are about half the size of a House Sparrow, are quite bold, as they shoot overhead into the rafters or casually hop within a short distance of the open doorway, in spite of an audience around the patio table

Similarly, the endemic Puerto Rican Troupial makes its presence known with a loud, clear call, which sounds to me like the first three syllables of “miercoles,” Spanish for “Wednesday.”  This bird draws further attention to itself with its bright, yellow body, contrasted by its black head and wings, with a large, white stripe along each.
 
Upon flipping through the field guide, I learned that there are eight dove species in Puerto Rico, which was shocking to me, as there is only one in New England.  One of the primary hang-out spots for White-winged Doves seems to be the neighbors’ rooftop, from which I have witnessed several massive lift-offs.  True to their name, a white wing patch is clearly visible on their folded wings, distinguishing them from other doves.  The other species that I have seen most frequently is the Common-ground Dove, which is a third of the size of the White-winged Dove that is about as large as the Mourning Doves of New England.  This small bird has a speckled, black pattern on its outer wings, and is unmistakable when in flight, with its rufous-colored under-wings.

Hummingbirds also regularly visit the flowering plant pictured here, though it has been difficult to make any positive identifications, due to the speed with which their wings move, quickly carrying them from blossom to blossom.

Still, other species have been reminiscent of home, such as the Greater Antillean Grackle, which is similarly iridescent, but also spreads its tail vertically, like a fan, in a mating or territorial display.  The Yellow-winged Blackbird must be a cousin of the Red-winged Blackbird, as they sing a similar high-pitched, buzzy trill and the wing color is the only noticeable difference to me.  Often, I hear the unmistakable screeches of Red-tailed Hawks in the distance, and once, a couple soared in circles just across the street.  Turkey vultures are also quite prominent, especially in the southern dry forests, and are easily identifiable with the clear distinction between their dark brown secondaries and bright, white primaries.

Friday, April 13, 2012

CD Release!

Two months ago I wrote about a show that I attended and the power of music. Just a few days ago, Hoots and Hellmouth officially released their new album entitled Salt. Of course, it's not comparable to a live performance, which you should check out if they pass through your town, but the melodies and lyrics are moving nonetheless.

You can preview Salt online. It is also for sale on Hoots and Hellmouth's website and bandcamp webpage, Amazon, and iTunes. My favorite song from this album is "Ocean, Open Wide," which illustrates the interconnectedness of all living things. At least, this is how I interpret it.

I hope you enjoy Hoots and Hellmouth's music as much as I do!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

New Skills with a Hint of Nostalgia

With the acoustic files double-checked and the humpback whale mating season winding down, my new assigned task is research to build up further educational resources for future programs at the center.  This information should become useful aids for learning about not only humpback whales, but also, the history of Puerto Rico and its people, the ecology and species diversity of the island and surrounding waters, and its geographic and climatic features. 

The object of today was to create a catalog of collected seashells.  This was only the second time that I have used a camera that is not strictly point and shoot, so I found putting setting adjustments into practice to be quite challenging, especially without knowing which buttons or dials made these changes.  The first fifty or so pictures taken by my acoustics' partner and me were either black or blinding from the flash.  We eventually became more comfortable, after lots of fiddling with the settings and downloading the user’s manual, and created clearer, identifiable pictures.

Once we had completed photo shoots with a small line up of shells, we commenced the identification process.  I found myself really appreciating the library of identification guides in the small book shelf at marine station in Ireland, since, now, there were none at our disposal.  I used a combination of Google images, websites with uncertain credibility, and scientific-based websites for cross-referencing.  Pictures may be worth a thousand words, but I feel that they don’t always capture the subtle detail necessary to make a positive id.  However, I was hard-pressed to find any sort of physical description for the majority of our specimens.

The work did bring me back to the marine station, as I remembered sitting at a lab bench in front of a microscope after a long day of surveying and hiking, trying to figure out how an alga that looked so distinctive could take an hour to identify.  It always felt so good, so rewarding, especially after that length of time, to declare with certainty that Latin name...and continue onto another specimen.  Ah, those were some good times!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Turning Over a New Leaf

Flashback to...14 February 2010

The day of my first date with my last love...

I was quite nervous, as my last real date had been about two years prior and was an ultimate disaster.  Not to mention that the men in my life following that incident, I just fell into relationships with, as usual.

After having turned over a new leaf and become more like the person who I wanted to be, I was determined to not rush into anything again.  I wanted to do things right this time, make the right choices.   

And so, I developed a mantra for that afternoon, repeating it constantly aloud before leaving my apartment and throughout the entire walk to the coffee shop, as I feared I might otherwise lose my nerve...

Enjoy the process of getting to know someone.
Practice patience.
Better to get an idea of how things may work out with a guy before getting involved.
Good things come to those who wait.
Be true to myself.  I want to be strong.  I want to not be ruled by my weaknesses.
What seems good at the time isn’t always the right thing to do.
I’ve made so much progress, I don’t want to put myself back at the beginning.
I need to be my own protector.  Set limits, verbalize and enforce them because my comfort is
     most important.
I can’t please everyone.  I should start with myself.
Be strong.  Be assertive.  Know what I want, who I am, and communicate that.
If he doesn’t like the situation, then we just weren’t meant to be.  I can be selective and choose
     who complements me and fits my needs best.
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