Understanding the Inner Self

I spent the past couple of days in self-reflection, trying to identify the unhealthy patterns in my life, so that I may address and remedy them.  For this, I utilized the following exercise from Starhawk's The Earth Path.  I highly recommend this book, not only as an aid to better understand the inner workings of oneself, but also to assist in reconnecting with nature, during a time in which we have distanced ourselves so much from it.  Happy soul searching!

Inner Pattern Observation

Starhawk: The Earth Path

The magic circle of the elements can help us look for our own internal patterns.  You can work with the questions below in several different ways.  Alone, you can meditate on them, write in your journal about them, or take each for a period of days or a week to reflect upon and keep notes on.

With a friend, partner, or in a healing or mentoring relationship, you could share with each other your reflections and give each other feedback and insights.

In a group or circle with a high degree of intimacy or trust, you could go around the circle, giving each person time to respond to each question without being interrupted or challenged.  At the end, you could discuss what is similar or different about your conclusions.  In group work, I would suggest taking one element each session, and devoting five or six sessions to this work.

Air

Are there patterns you can identify in your thoughts?  Particular phrases or words you say to yourself again and again, or snatches of inner dialogue that repeat?  Names you call yourself?  Images you hold?  Fantasies?

How do these affect your perception of yourself?  Others?  How do they impact your energy?  Emotions?  Body?  Spirit?  The choices you make?  The possibilities you see around you?  How do these patterns restrict or harm you?  How do they serve you?  What do they do?

Fire

Are there patterns you can identify around your energy level and how you use your energies?  Cycles or repeating ebbs and flows?  Ways you dissipate or squander energy?  Patterns of eating or drinking or sleeping?  Repetitive ways you build up energy or stoke your fires?

How do these affect your perception of yourself?  Others?  How do they impact your energy?  Emotions?  Body?  Spirit?  The choices you make?  The possibilities you see around you?  How do these patterns restrict or harm you?  How do they serve you?  What do they do?

Water

Are there emotional patterns that you can identify?  Cycles of feeling?  Patterns in love, patterns in relationships?  Patterns in the way you respond to fear?  Hope?  Anger?  Attack?  Loss?

How do these affect your perception of yourself?  Others?  How do they impact your energy?  Emotions?  Body?  Spirit?  The choices you make?  The possibilities you see around you?  How do these patterns restrict or harm you?  How do they serve you?  What do they do?

Earth

Are there physical patterns you can identify?  Patterns in your health, fitness, muscle tone, and flexibility?  Do you get sick in response to other patterns?  Cyclically?

Are there patterns you follow around money or other material resources?  Around providing for yourself and others?  Around shopping or spending?

Do you notice patterns around your ability to set boundaries, or your encounters with others’ boundaries?

How do these affect your perception of yourself?  Others?  How do they impact your energy?  Emotions?  Body?  Spirit?  The choices you make?  The possibilities you see around you?  How do these patterns restrict or harm you?  How do they serve you?  What do they do?

Spirit

Are there spiritual patterns that you can identify?  Patterns around consciousness-change, intoxication?  Addictions?  Patterns in communication and connection with others?

How do these affect your perception of yourself?  Others?  How do they impact your energy?  Emotions?  Body?  Spirit?  The choices you make?  The possibilities you see around you?  How do these patterns restrict or harm you?  How do they serve you?  What do they do?

Down for the Count

Within the first week, I’ve managed to injure myself on the job.  I’m uncertain if I somehow twisted my knee in stumbling about on the uneven marsh turf or if I overextended my leg in my many attempts to heave myself over tall grass tussocks from my sinking spot in the marsh.  Either way, I was in pain by the end of the survey on Friday.  Since then, I have taken every other day off, hoping that would be sufficient time for my knee to recuperate.  I have also been utilizing a walking stick and brace for extra support to minimize the strain. 

On Tuesday, we began another phase of the project, counting the singing male Aquatic Warblers at dusk, which made for a longer day in combination with our nest searching efforts.  Early on, especially as I hiked over the tangled tussocks, I could tell that my knee would not fair any better that day.  By the end, I could not even feel exhaustion from the strenuous work or hunger, being well past dinnertime; there was only pain.  It was then that I determined to seek medical help, as I would only jeopardize my health and the quality of my data if I continued in this way.

I was accompanied by a staff member to the doctor’s office the next day, and was instructed to not work for at least three days and was prescribed anti-inflammation cream and pain medication.  So far my knee doesn’t feel much improved, although it may take more time after I pushed it to its limit the other day.  It’s uncomfortable to keep it still and straight or to bend it too much or rotate it.  However, it does feel infinitely better to just walk on solid ground.  I sincerely hope that I will heal within a reasonable amount of time, so that I can get back to work!

Appreciation

17 May 2012

Following the intensive trek on Thursday to the site furthest from the road, the journey to the final survey site had to be a cake walk.  While there was still a significant distance to cover, it was far more manageable, of which I was greatly appreciative, commencing the theme for the day.  We marked plot corners with posts and recorded vegetation measurements, as we picked our way through the marshland.  However, the area was fraught with ditches, in which little vegetation grew and the water table extended far below the surface, so that dark, watery abyss patiently awaited its next unsuspecting victim.  This so happened to be me, as I attempted to create a different path across one ditch, since I did not believe that I could match the gait of my companions.  Yet, the distance was still too far, and I either slipped off of the little island of tufted grasses or completely missed my mark.  I quickly began sliding into the abyss, but as water inched above the tops of my waders, the hand of our guide firmly seized my arm and heaved me out, bringing me safely “ashore.”  I took some time to dump the water from my waders, which had filled to the brim, and straighten my drenched socks before continuing on.  I was certainly beginning to recognize the importance of a walking stick for the sake of my safety.

Needless to say, this incident helped me to more fully appreciate the certainty and security of firm, dry land, as we crossed an island of woodland on our journey back towards our vehicles.  As we exited the island, the sun was beginning to set, casting radiant red shadows across the clustered clouds.  Gradually, it peeped out from its hiding place behind the great white puffs to brighten the landscape one final time with its blinding light.  It isn’t very often that one has the opportunity to see a sunset like this, as each one is quite unique.  One co-worker also brought up the fact that few people are privileged enough to work with nature in the way that we are, to be contributing to a project for the greater good of wildlife, and to both live and work in a world-renown national park; yet something else to appreciate.

On the drive back from the site, down the deeply grooved dirt road, wrought large, muddy puddles, the car had enough of this abuse and stalled at the intersection to the main road.  Fortunately, our guide was not far ahead and rang the organization’s auto specialist to assess the situation.  We were perfectly content to wait with our thermos of hot coffee, which was a welcome relief from the cold marsh water.  With a bit of time for the car to dry out and a pull onto the road, it burst back to life, just in time for us to observe a mother fox with her kits crossing the road a ways ahead.  It was supposed that the car was meant to stall, so that we would not miss this beautiful moment in nature’s nightlife.  So much to appreciate!

The Aquatic Warbler Workout

16 May 2012

The second day was far more trying, as it took three to four hours to walk through forest with muddy spots that would eat you alive, a marsh, some more woodlands, another marsh, a small island of trees, and more marshland, just to get to the farthest edge of our farthest plot.  There were times when I felt ready to give up and as if my feet could go no further.  When these “stories” inched their way to the forefront of my mind, I had to pause and breathe, in order to quell the mounting frustration and avoid making the situation worse for myself.  I especially struggled in areas where the vegetation was about half the size of me, trying to lift my legs over it without tripping myself. 

I welcomed the beginning of the survey, as we had to slow down and take our time, so that we might spot females flushing from underneath the layer of plant litter or hear their alarm calls at our approach.  I appreciated having a GPS unit there far more than in a car, since it was so easy to get turned around in an environment with relatively indistinct features, while simultaneously scanning for birds and trying to stay upright, feeling where my feet would fall.  I couldn’t keep a constant eye on the GPS, so almost as soon as I would look away, I would start walking off in a slightly off course.  I think that I tended to head in the direction, in which I was looking.  So, straight lines from point to point on the map didn’t really happen. 

I flushed some birds, but they never came back, so, perhaps there were no nests or they were not females.  The others primarily flushed female Aquatic Warblers, but also did not turn up any nests and one kept hearing alarm calls.  We worked well as a team and finished the site slightly earlier than expected, which was good, as darkness came quickly on this cold, cloudy, rainy day.  It was twilight by the time we reached the car, which we had left about eight hours prior.  We made it home, hung our things to dry, as all of it was damp, cleaned up, wolfed down dinner, and now, everyone, with the exception of me, is fast asleep. 

We get a bit of a lie in tomorrow, so that we might wait out the morning rain showers before trekking to our final survey site.

Marsh Hiking 101

Yesterday was my first semi-official day on the job.  I say semi-official because we took frequent breaks to listen to the harmony of bird songs around us and observe them through binoculars, as they flew overhead, including Marsh Harriers, White-winged Terns, Meadow Pipits, and, of course Aquatic Warblers.  We also did not search specifically for Aquatic Warblers.  Instead, the project leader took us on a trek around one of the large survey sites in the peat marsh of Biebrza National Park, so that we could mark the edges of the plots for future reference. 

It was wonderful to be back out in nature, which built up my anticipation for the start of the field work.  We were surrounded by marsh with occasional patches of trees, unable to see the boardwalk, from which we had come.  Yet, some hills could be seen far off in the distance, which are lit up by the night lights of larger towns.  The project leader advised us to “stay away from the light,” as it is a seven kilometer walk to a river, which one must swim across, in order to get to the towns.  I’m unsure of the total distance covered today, but it was tough going, and I cannot imagine what hiking several kilometers must be like! 

And it did feel quite like hiking, particularly through plots, in which the vegetation is taller and denser with seemingly less standing water.  One really needs to pick up one’s feet!  Yet, there is always a hole some place, where the entangled root systems suddenly disperse and some unfortunate individual loses a leg for a few moments.  It was very challenging to tell the locations of such danger zones in advance, since some areas were small and surrounded by vegetation, seemingly harmless.  Even though, I spent much of my walking time carefully watching where my feet feel, I still managed to locate a few gaps in the plant life.

Devon Food Tour

Tuesday began my Devon food tour, which commenced with a welcomed hot breakfast at Bill’s in Exeter.  I decided to give a new dish a go, ordering the bubble and squeak.  It consists of partially mashed potatoes, mixed with a variety of other ingredients, traditionally leftovers, as my friend informed me.  The waitress was quick to interject that I would not simply be eating leftovers, and later, returned with a dish, in which the bubble and squeak was blanketed by ham, over-easy eggs, a creamy hollandaise sauce, and topped with a sprig of parsley.

That evening, we went for traditional fish and chips in the seaport of Brixham.  At Nick’s Fish Bar, we not only had a full view of the harbor, but also, were quickly filled by small orders of golden, crispy, flavorful fried cod and chips.

Wednesday’s lunchtime was spent at Fuller’s Pasties in Brixham, which specializes in pasties.  To me, a pasty resembles a calzone at first glance, but its shell is far more similar to that of homemade pie crust or a southern style American biscuit, crispy and flaky.  It can be filled with any variety of ingredients, typically savory.  The pork and apple pasty that I chose reminded me of eating a hand-held Shepard’s pie.

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the terminology used for Thursday’s first delight, cream tea.  It has nothing to do with a difference in the tea, as I had initially thought.  It simply refers to the pairing of tea with a scone, topped with jam and clotted cream, which is a thick, cream spread.  However, in proper Devon tradition, the clotted cream must be spread upon the scone before the jam, as the reverse is customary of its neighboring county, Cornwall.

I sampled various other sweets during our travels and experienced a tea intake so high that would be reminiscent of my time in Ireland.

Burning of the Clocks

On Thursday, my friend had the day off from work, so we headed off to tour his hometown of Brighton on this cold, drizzly day.  One of our stops was at the Brighton Museum and ArtGallery, which offered displays of modern art, ancient Egyptian artifacts, and a historical depiction of Brighton. 

One piece of art in the latter section was an elaborate, white, paper clock costume, which suddenly began flashing a display of lights.  I thought that, perhaps, this was donned by the lead of the Burning of the Clocks parade, which was explained on the plaque.  Minimal information was provided about this event, so I did a bit of research. 

The Burning of the Clocks was created by Same Sky in 1995, as an alternative festivity during the holiday season in an effort to recreate and revive the traditional Winter Solstice celebration.  Anyone can participate in this event, which commences with a parade of individually designed paper lanterns through the streets of Brighton.  Each lantern is a unique representation of its maker’s fears, hopes, and dreams.  At the close of the parade, these lanterns are burned in a large fire on the beach to signify the passage of time and the beginning of new life at the start of the new year.

U.K.'s National Rail System

If you are planning to travel on the London rail system from Heathrow Airport at some future time, I have some advice for you. 

To give you an overview, I had purchased tickets in advance online, in order to secure seats on trains of my preferred times and to save a bit of money.  However, the only option available to non-U.K. residents for claiming tickets is to pick them up at a self-service machine within certain train stations.  Heathrow is not one of these locations, but when I phoned National Rail customer service, I was told that my confirmation information would be enough to secure my ticket for my trip from the airport. 

Now, after actively using the transit system, I have learned that the London Underground and the National Rail system are two separate entities that cannot provide tickets issued by the other.  I also learned that National Rail customer service agents are quite indifferent to the problems or complaints of their customers and are unwilling to issue refunds for selling tickets under false pretenses.

As a result, I have come to the conclusion that one should either avoid buying Underground tickets through National Rail online, claim your tickets from customer service (which should be an option on the website), or just bite the bullet and pay for your tickets as you go.