When we were young, the idea of a relationship was something new and exciting that had more to do with attraction than anything else. Oftentimes, we were seeking a person who we were physically drawn to without paying much mind to personality, values, goals. Relationships were simpler then, even though they never seemed to at the time, drama frequently ensued with school age romances.
More recently, I’ve noticed that I am able to step back and analyze my thoughts and feelings in this department, and I am more often considering my long-term interests. Perhaps, this is because I have become increasingly focused on my individual future, trying to plan ahead, and figuring where I would like to be on my career path in a few years time. This, in itself, has proved to be quite challenging, but it gets me into this mindset of long-term planning, wants, and needs. Maybe, simply aging contributes to this frame of mind, as chemical balances shift, kicking in the animals instinct to find a stable, suitable mate, with whom to copulate and raise young in the most primal sense.
However, I would like to believe that this instinct isn’t solely what drives me, especially since kids aren’t even in any long-term plan of mine. It does make sense, though, that at a certain age, we get the inkling to settle and begin to only date individuals who might fit in with our plans, into our lives, balance our personalities, and share our beliefs and values. Others become not worth the time if one knows that it will not work in the future, if something about those individuals or their plans don’t jive.
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