Chaotic Trip Planning

I was supposed to be spending this past week engaged in preparing for my upcoming trip.  I remember looking at the newly posted work schedule, wondering if I would have enough time to brush up on my Spanish, reread the information I had found months ago on humpback whales, theodolite tracking, and Puerto Rico ecology, make travel arrangements for my next trip, organize my living space, pack, and do all of the other detailed things that I needed to do.  But I promptly fell ill with the flu, and instead, spent my week passed out in bed, trying to rest and recuperate, so I could at least get myself to Puerto Rico.

 

Even since the fever broke, I haven’t felt up to par to get anything done, not to mention I’ve just been so worried about having only a few days to do what I had planned to do in a week.  I awoke this morning still fretting about all of the last minute things that I needed to do, worrying if I’d get it all done in time. 

Before leaving for Ireland and British Colombia, I’ve felt nervous excitement at the prospect of those trips.  Now, I’m just terrified.  I don’t know if being so ill has thrown me off this much, as I’ve been battling headaches and disorientation all day still.  I’m surprised that I even managed to pack.  Or perhaps, there has been too much down time, during which I’ve been able to push off thinking about the future.  Maybe that’s another reason for this fear; the future is here, and it’s no clearer than it was before.  I’m hoping that I’ll get over this hump once I start moving again. 

Also, there was a time when I was organized and everything had its place, so that I could easily locate whatever I needed.  Now, I’m lucky if I’m able to find an important piece of paper.  Twice already, I’ve nearly lost a train ticket for my next trip, as it floats about in my desk drawer.  When did this happen?  When did my life become so chaotic?  When did I become so chaotic? 

M.I.A.

So, I’ve been M.I.A. for several days now, but I assure you that I haven’t purposely been avoiding blogging.

Upon returning home on Sunday night, all I could think of was getting upstairs to bed.  However, sleep evaded me, as I struggled through the night with a persistent fever and chills.  I awoke early the next morning, as my illness had come on too quickly for me to find coverage for my opening shift, feeling unrested, still feverish, and an intense pain pushing from behind my eyes and up into my head.  I took a couple of ibuprofen and laboriously chewed on an orange with my head barely raised from the table top. 

Somehow, I made it to work in this condition unscathed, and it reminded me of my drive to work in Northampton under similar circumstances several years ago.  Now, I survived over three hours shuffling about, struggling to be at the top of my game, wherever that top was.  Fortunately, a co-worker arrived early, relieving me from the remainder of my shift.  After that, I spent the next two days practically bedridden, with the exception of the visit to the doctor for my flu diagnosis, to which my dad graciously drove me.

I do recognize that I was fortunate enough to fall ill now at home, rather than when I am out of state next week, yet the timing was still less than ideal.  I felt unable to do anything, not even to think or move; never mind, organize myself for my travels.  I couldn’t even feel sorry for my miserable condition, as my primary desire was to just curl up and die.

On the first day, I had no appetite and on the second day, I was so hungry, but everything that I tried to eat tasted repulsive.  This frustrated me to no end, as I am quite fond of food.

On Wednesday, my senses and taste buds returned, signaling the final stretch of my illness and the light of recuperation.  With this new found vigor, I set myself on a cleaning spree, washing every bit of bedding and clothing that I had used and disinfecting any surface in the house that I may have touched.  I didn’t want anyone else to endure the same awful experience as I did.

I probably overdid it, still not being quite up to par and feeling rather loopy, as I rebuild my strength and fight off lingering flu symptoms.

Yet, I will try my best to keep up on my posts while I continue to recover!